Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
