The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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