Define "chronic" masturbator.
operation have a gay friend backfired
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
