Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
