its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
