i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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