I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
