So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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