why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
