either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
