dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
