Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
