It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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