I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
