I can feel you judging me through the phone.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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