She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
