Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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