i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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