I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she pinky promised me she was 18
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize