Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
