What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
