A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
