found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
