You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
