he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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