Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
