Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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