Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I CAN MOONWALK!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
