It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
