take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
