I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
