i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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