WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
