We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
