why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
