Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
