plz talk dirty to me
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
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