That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
