one two three fourrrrnication!
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
