WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
