Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
