i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
