Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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