Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
