Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Randomize
