Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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