I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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