It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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