Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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