Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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