I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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