it was like his penis was on wheels.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize