So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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