ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
