I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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