Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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