You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
