you guys were way drunker than both of me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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