OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
