so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
