I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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