Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize